The Harry Situation

2) Teri Morgan threatened to expose our illicit affair unless I left my wife.
3) I tried to kill Teri Morgan to keep her quiet.

So maybe you’ve seen this video on YouTube (posted, no doubt, by my ever-helpful ex-wife Nancy).

But if you haven’t seen it, let me first say that this was truly an unavoidable tragedy. It was a terrible accident. In no way can any connection be made between anyone’s actions, and the random terrible tragic accidental accident. Exclamation Point.

Many of you will say, “Todd, why did you yell ‘Drop The Light!’ right after she entered? And why did a light drop on her head, almost killing her, right after you yelled ‘Drop The Light’?

These are legitimate questions. I have a legitimate answer:

It’s production slang. Check out the entry in this highly accurate encyclopedia.

‘Drop the Light’ is an industry wide term for ‘Lower the Light Levels” This is “Often said while shooting when the camera is maxing out the white levels and the director believes the rest of the shot will be good if the light level is dropped. It has nothing to do with any physical dropping of a lighting fixture during the scene, especially if there is an actor near or under the light.”

Some crew members claimed that I tried to silence Teri prior to shooting the scene.

Judge for yourself. I was running a television show. Do I have time to sit and listen to everyone? The camera was rolling and we were on a schedule.

This was not show and tell. This was television. Were we going to sit there and listen to her tell us about the Secret Santa rules for the crew Christmas party? No. We weren’t. So we didn’t.

This is not evidence that I was having an affair.

Now that you understand what’s going on here, do you really think I was trying to kill her to shut her up about the affair we were having?

Take another look. Here is the whole thing:

And by the way, Teri Morgan is fine. I know for a fact that she only wears her neckbrace when she goes to court.

Who could have leaked this? My wife? Teri Morgan? Garnier Fructis?

You’re so clever.

But guess what - it don’t matter. Really. I’m smiling an eerily calm smile right now. Why? Because I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE.

I am now not only indigent and unable to afford an attorney to fight these accusations, but I just severely sprained my ankle and am in terrible physical pain. It’s swelling up real bad. Looks like a boa constrictor eating a baby rhino. It’s kinda awesome.

So I guess I’ve been forced to use this impartial forum to rebut some of the venomous lies being spread about me.

THE LIST OF VENEMOUS LIES
1) I cast Teri Morgan because she slept with me. Sexually.
2) Teri Morgan threatened to expose our illicit affair unless I left my wife for her.
3) I tried to kill Teri Morgan to keep her quiet.
4) I enlisted a lowly Production Assistant to drop a 90lb stage light on Teri’s head.
5) I then cast that PA in Teri’s role as a payoff.
6) Teri Morgan has sued me, sued the show, and sued the studio.
7) My wife has accused me of adultery, left me, and taken the kids.
8 ) I am now living in a transient motel populated by resentful sex workers, drooling junkies, and a Bosnian death metal band called ‘MethLab for Cutie’.

Allow me to tear these lies apart one by one.

1) I cast Teri Morgan because I was having an affair with her.

So this video was posted anonymously, eh? It had to be Nancy. I’m not angry. I’m impressed. Kudos to you for figuring out how to use ‘The YouTube’. I take it back; you are young.

But to everyone who thinks this video is evidence of adultery: you’re wrong.

This clip is obviously part of her audition. The role was of a devious seductress who stops at nothing in getting what she wants.

She demonstrated Its just the type of spirit and energy that this show needed to elevate our use of explicit sexual situations past the level of mere gimmickry.

Bless, you Teri Morgan. Despite the fact that you’re suing me and falsely claiming that I tried to kill you, you are a true professional.

I explicitly deny that I had sexual relations with that woman.

Remember, Harry was planning on being nude. He seemed very upset after we shot that day.

So the next day after we shot the nude suit dream sequence we had to suspend production and push the schedule because Harry was nowhere to be found.

I finally checked my voicemail and heard this:

I bailed him out.

Harry said he was busted for something about an expired license. I didn’t press further because it seemed like he’d been crying all night and I didn’t want to know.

A week goes by, everything is fine, and then GFSBIEG&PP sends me this:





I confronted Harry. We talked. It was a real heart-to-heart. Super personal stuff. Deep issues. Troubled guy.

I promised never, under any circumstances, to share what he told me. I promise a lot of things.

Enjoy:

I had to bail him out three more times: