The Harry Situation

I just sold the rights to this blog to a very reputable foreign producer for over one hundred rupee.

This Blog will soon be a hit musical! Bollywood, here I come!!

With its new international following, perhaps The Harry Situation has a good chance of being picked up for a back nine? If it went a full 22 episodes, then I would make enough money to satisfy all the exciting judgments againstme, and still have enough left over for a fantasy vacation in the tropics.

Oh, and one last thing…

I have a brilliant idea for a cutting edge graphically sexual documentary following the exploits of a failed television writer who is trying to pick up the pieces of his broken life and move on. It’ll need a huge budget because every episode ends with a decadent party complete with ice sculptures that pee vodka and naked dancing girls who parachute into an Olympic-sized Jacuzzi.

I would star.

And I’m looking for a sponsor. Since I’m a reasonable person, I’m not ruling out any reasonable offers.

They are actually doing it!

Garnier Fructis is running banner ads for the show!

Of course, they’ve just replaced their inane promo ads with some newer ones, and they don’t exactly say what I expected. These are actually better:

So welcome to you all who are joining me, after being advised not to join me. You clicked on a banner that told you not to come here.

If you came here to see promos for ‘The Harry Situation’, I ask you, “Why?” I think this blog will be much more entertaining. Even though this blog has no laugh track, I respect your intelligence enough to know when to laugh.

I don’t care about your Gag Order. I don’t care if I come off bitter - I am bitter. I’m really, really bitter.

I just want to remind you, Garnier Fructis, that I have nothing to lose.

And now you’re sending tens of thousands of people a day to this site so they can witness the story of how you destroyed my life.

So I thank you for that. You’re the best!

Now…on with the show, sponsored exclusively by Garnier Fructis Style Bold It! Endurance Gel and Power Putty (I didn’t make up those names, they did).

More on Wednesday!