DAWN SPANGLER WEEK PART 1
Wa-hoo!! It’s Dawn Spangler Week!
I’m sure you’re reading this, Dawn. I know you googled your name after every meal.
Please note that I am still your biggest defender. I never called you Spawn, as in Devil’s Spawn, and I never called you Spawn Dangler, as in Devil’s Spawn that dangles. And when people attacked you behind your back as insecure, agnorant (arrogant + ignorant), and cruel… my silent protest was powerful.
Why?
Because I felt sorry for you.
I felt sorry for you because you are a hottie.
And I think you never got a fair shake. I think that everyone hated you because you were hot. Especially Nancy. She is threatened by women who are less unattractive than her. Hi Nancy. Don’t you throw out my mail. That’s a felony.
Sure, the Wrath of Spawn was powerful:
But Carrie could handle herself:
Note that Carrie mentions that Dawn’s been on “so many cancelled shows”.
What were those failed sitcom pilots, you ask? You’ve never heard of them, and you never will:
1) Space for the Kids
2) At Ease, SGT. Garvey
3) Batting Cleanup
4) New Leash On Life
5) Deal Me In
6) The Mysterious Arthur Fineman’s Magic Pants
7) The Valedictorian of Seventh Grade
8 ) Art’s Gallery
9) I’ll Be The Judge Of That
10) Secretly Steven
11) Settle Down, Grandma
12) Kenny’s Attic
I can’t believe her terrible luck. It’s just the breaks, I guess. I’m sure she had absolutely nothing to do with those shows getting flushed.
Then again…
